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Jan 23, 2025
4 min read

It’s 2025, and society has become unrecognizable. People are obsessed with laughing gas, social media, and bias-affirming echo chambers. Birthrates have plummeted as governments worldwide succumb to the temptations of corruption. Private corporations, seizing the opportunity, have bought everything of value short of the people themselves, renting it all back to the masses. Even things like oxygen, The Internet and dopamine consumption are tracked and taxed. The resulting financial inequality has made it nearly impossible for most people to have children. Only the wealthy elite can afford the privilege, but their insular beliefs have led to rampant inbreeding.

For the rest of humanity, the only realistic hope of starting a family lies in the "Creator Lottery." The 1% handpick a select few they deem worthy, artificially boosting their social standing to deceive the masses. This carefully curated illusion convinces the public that they, too, could succeed under the current system. It’s a cruel ruse, reinforcing the myth that societal problems stem from personal failings rather than systemic exploitation. The system thrives on this deception, and change seems impossible.

Meanwhile, the average attention span has plummeted, eroded by perfectly engineered algorithms exploiting human psychology. Even members of law enforcement are caught gooning while on duty. As the world teeters on the edge of collapse, humanity’s last hope comes from an unexpected place: a secret CIA project code-named “Sleepy Joe.”

Five hundred years ago, two individuals were cryogenically frozen for their demonstrated genius and leadership qualities. These two, Joe and Camila, were meant to be humanity’s saviours in a time of desperate need. Their ability to read, write, and hold normal conversations without vaping or participating in TikTok dances was a rarity—a sign of their unparalleled brilliance by the standards of 2025. But as with everything in this dystopian world, things didn’t go as planned.

When Joe emerged from cryogenic stasis, complications arose. Although he entered the program in his late thirties, he aged rapidly due to unforeseen biological effects. He reappeared as a frail 77-year-old man, his mind foggy and his memory unreliable. Camila, while faring better physically, proved to be humanity’s first major disappointment. Once touted as a beacon of hope, she quickly fell prey to the allure of wealth and power. Within months of her revival, she found herself deep in the pockets of the oligarchs, her principles eroded by greed. She tried to maintain a facade of integrity, but the public wasn’t fooled. Her fall from grace left her ostracized, condemned to the wrong side of history.

© DreadPirateDuppie 2026.

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